A Man’s Rectum Fell Out After Spending 30 Minutes On The Toilet

This gives the term 'bowel movement' a whole new meaning. It's 'Crappy News' for Monday, February 12th.

San Bernardino, CA- A woman is suing Starbucks after finding blood in her drink.

Amanda Vice and her daughter, Peyton, visited the Starbucks back in 2016. Peyton thought her Frappuccino. Amanda then noticed some blood inside the rim of the cup.

Vice called Starbucks to complain, and the store confirmed that one of the baristas had continued to make drinks after she'd cut herself. The Starbucks offered Vice and her family free drinks for a week. Obviously, that wasn't a big enough gesture, and Vice decided to sue after Starbucks refused to test the employee for diseases.

Vice's attorney is claiming negligence. The family is asking for an undisclosed amount. [CBS 2 - Los Angeles]

Don't you love when billion-dollar companies treat people like dirt? I know I do...

Spokane, WA- A guy stole stuff from his neighbors...then called the cops when they took it back.

46-year-old Jason Tschanz called police last Sunday to report his TV stolen. It didn't take the cops long to figure out what really happened.

Turns out, Tschanz had actually stolen the TV from his neighbor, who was merely trying to get it back. She said Tschanz tried to break into their apartment a couple of weeks earlier but was caught by her boyfriend. She explained she left the apartment and returned a few hours later to find several items missing, including a TV, XBox and video games.

Tschanz' daughter confirmed he brought a TV and XBox console home earlier that morning. So, to recap...he called the police to report the TV he'd stolen had been stolen from him. Tschanz was transported to jail and charged with residential burglary, theft, and malicious mischief. [KHQ-TV]

This takes either a lot of guts, zero brains, or a combination of both.

Zhongshan, China- A man needed surgery after spending too much time in the bathroom.

The man was playing on his phone while trying to do his business--something we've all probably done hundreds of times. But after about a half-hour of straining and pushing...his RECTUM FELL OUT.

Doctors believe the patient's pelvic muscles weakened from sitting too long on the toilet.

CT scan images showed a six-inch mass dangling from his hind end. The medical term is "rectal prolapse," which is a fancy way of saying YOUR INSIDES ARE OUTSIDE. The patient was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery, and the doctors say he's recovering. [NDTV.com]

This is why I don't waste too much time on the john. Get in, get out, get on with your day. Preferably with all of your bowels still inside your body.

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