Charles Bramesco
The Onion’s Three-Movie Development Deal Is No Joke
Now that falsehoods have become almost entirely indistinguishable from fact in the American news media, the staffers of satirical publication The Onion can sit back and relax, having effectively taken over the industry they set out to spoof. (Full disclosure: I contribute to the A.V. Club, a division of the Onion media empire.) But instead of resting on their laurels, the originators of ‘fake news’ have set out to conquer new frontiers, having already moved into publishing and the untamed wilds of television. A new exclusive from the Hollywood Reporter indicates that not even the movie theaters of this great nation will be safe from the increasingly plausible absurdities of America’s self-proclaimed ‘finest news source.’
Things Get Steamy, and Deadly, in Extended ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ Trailer
It’s every woman’s fantasy: not the perfect man, but the man who is perfect in all ways except one, which can only be changed with the gentle touch of a lover. Anastasia Steele, the Dakota Johnson-played protagonist of the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, shares this widespread fixer-upper fetish, and she makes as much clear in the new trailer for Fifty Shades Darker. In the film disappointingly not titled Fifty-One Shades of Grey, Ana accepts Christian back into her life under the condition that he cut it out with all the brooding angst that originally attracted her to him and got old pretty quickly. They let one another back into their lives (and beds, and red-lit sexual torture chambers), but tragedy may cut the honeymoon phase short.
Crossing $11 Billion Mark, Hollywood Poised for Biggest Year to Date
Even if it feels like things are getting worse all the time, with Hollywood delivering an unholy crop of expensive flops amidst murmurs of cinema’s death in 2016, that may not be the case. At the very least, the American film industry isn’t in danger of collapsing any time soon — quite the opposite, in fact. If we’re to take the total sum of money generated by ticket sales in a given year as a barometer of the industry’s overall health, Tinseltown’s still as strong as an ox, Ben-hur remake or no.
Go Behind the CGI of ‘Batman v Superman’ with New Visual Effects Featurette
Take a seat, because what you’re about to read may shock and disorient you: many of the images seen onscreen during the motion picture Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice are a sham. While the completed film may appear to show superheroes valiantly flying through the air and shooting lasers out of their eyes and discussing maternal nomenclature, many of those same scenes were created using sophisticated computer programs, and never happened at all! Not to destroy the magic of the cinema, but we’ve all been lied to. Superman’s not real, he’s just some unusually pretty dude who spent a couple months in a room wallpapered with green screen.
IMDb’s Top 10 Movies of 2016 List Is… Interesting, Let’s Just Put It That Way
The Internet Movie Database is a fount of helpful information. With a few simple clicks, users can learn who shot the Miley Cyrus vehicle So Undercover (Things to Come cinematographer Denis Lenoir), which sequel in the Hellraiser franchise featured a performance from a young Adam Scott (the fourth one), or how old Taraji P. Henson is (who looks that good at 46?!). As a repository for loose factoids from in and around the world of screen entertainment, it can’t be beat. As a source for critical perspectives on those same films, however... hoo boy. Just take a gander at any comment section for a movie’s page and marvel at the IMDb is the site where rabid anti-Ghostbusters zealots congregated to downvote Paul Feig’s movie into oblivion weeks before its actual release, and the newly-released IMDb Top 10 provides an even clearer view of its user base.
‘Beauty and the Beast’ Unseats ’Fifty Shades’ as Most-Viewed Trailer in 24 Hours
The trailer for the handsomely-mounted live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast surfaced on Tuesday, and drew strong reactions across the board. Many were taken with the first look at the Emma Watson/Dan Stevens romance, allowing themselves to be flooded with the same swooning emotion that Disney’s animated film conjured back in 1991. Some were less impressed, expressing low-level terror at the unnatural-looking designs for Mrs. Potts, Cogsworth, Lumiere, and the rest of the anthropomorphized household object gang. But regardless of overall reception, one thing is for certain: The Guardian notes that an unprecedented crap-ton of people accessed the trailer on YouTube, making 2017’s Beauty and the Beast the most-viewed-in-a-24-hour-period trailer of all time.
No One Enjoyed the Cubs’ World Series Win More Than Bill Murray
Late last night, a little after the midnight hour, Hell froze over. Reports of pigs and other assorted swine growing wings and taking flight started pouring in from all over the country. Dogs and cats were living together — it was mass hysteria, all because the Chicago Cubs had finally won the World Series after a 108-year drought.
James McAvoy Goes a Little Mad in New ‘Split’ Trailer
M. Night Shyamalan’s Split came as a welcome surprise when it debuted unannounced as the secret screening at last month’s Fantastic Fest, delighting audiences with a daring turn from James McAvoy (and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy and James McAvoy) as a mental patient harboring 23 distinct personalities in his head. Our own Britt Hayes was on the scene and reported back with a resoundingly positive review naming the new film as Shyamalan’s best in years. (Not an especially high bar, admittedly, but praise is praise.)
Shia LaBeouf Comes Home From War in ‘Man Down’ Trailer
It’s hardly a secret that the American military has no idea what to do with its veterans, often leaving the traumatized men to fall through the cracks due to a lack of support. As the newly released trailer for the upcoming action-drama Man Down amply shows, soldier Gabriel Drummer (Shia LaBeouf, mercifully free of his American Honey rat-tail) has more than his fair share of baggage when he returns home from an extended tour of duty in an unidentified conflict. But he’ll have to contend with more than poverty and the guilt over watching his brother-in-arms (Jai Courtney) die; turns out that while he was away fighting to protect it, America went right to hell anyway.
Aaron Paul’s Losing His Mind in the ‘Come and Find Me’ Trailer
It’s a classic premise, and for good reason: guy’s wife/girlfriend/daughter vanishes into thin air, guy drives himself halfway to madness in dogged attempts to get her back, guy grows unkempt beard of mourning. It has drama and intrigue wired right into the plot beats, allows for some salacious secrets, and who doesn’t love a good mystery? George Sluizer’s 1988 film The Vanishing may have done it best, but just a couple of years ago, David Fincher gave him a run for his money with Gone Girl. And today, we get our first look at the latest entry in this grand storytelling tradition.