Take note: Santa is the only one who can get away with this. Here's 'Crappy News' for Tuesday, December 19th.

LaCrosse, WI- A burglar left some pretty incriminating stuff behind.

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44-year-old Randy Bolstad stole a laptop from a business last Saturday. He realized he'd forgotten some of his stuff inside and called 911 for help.

Bolstad was gone by the time police arrived. On Monday, police returned after a caller reported his laptop computer was missing and said he’d found condoms and loose change in the bathroom of his business. Police came to investigate and found Bolstad's probation paperwork in the bathroom trash can.

Bolstad, who was sentenced to three years probation for robbery LAST MONTH, was charged Tuesday with one count of burglary. [LaCrosse Tribune]

Dunedin, New Zealand- A couple was caught on video having sex...on top of a sheep statue.

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A carload of people drove past the area early Sunday morning and spotted the lovers doing the "no pants dance" out in the open. Naturally--because 2017--one of the passengers in the car started filming them in the act and posted it online.

Police saw the images and called on the public to report lewd behavior instead of recording it. Engaging in indecent acts in a public place in New Zealand carries a punishment of up to two years in prison. [Metro]

New Zealand has about 10 times as many sheep as people, so I guess they don't want to disturb them, even the fake ones...

Citrus Heights, CA- A bad Santa was busted.

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32-year-old Jesse Berube called 911 on Wednesday after getting stuck inside a chimney.

Police say Berube had attempted to shimmy down the chimney to gain access to the business, which was closed at the time, but got wedged in place and couldn't move up or down. Berube was rescued while (appropriately) covered in soot.

He was arrested and charged with attempted burglary. [UPI]

You can't do better than the real deal. Santa has special skills that the rest of us don't.

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