Obviously, he didn't do a very good job. This is 'Crappy News' for Tuesday, August 2nd.

Marshalltown, IA- A man was arrested last week for stealing a rare vintage car.

Ablestock.com

Patrick Chamberlin was caught driving the stolen 1966 Ford GT40 replica on Thursday. The car's owner, Steve Salasek, reported the theft after the car was missing from a storage unit.

Locals alertly spotted Chamberlin driving the car a few days later and called the cops.

Police said the car was painted black in an attempt to disguise it, but that some of the car’s original bright yellow paint was visible through the paint job. [KCCI - Des Moines]

I think this guy played "Grand Theft Auto" a few too many times...

Murfreesboro, TN- A new groom found A LOT more than his wife's garter.

30-year-old James Burton and 25-year-old Kate Prichard were married this past weekend. And their wedded bliss didn't even last through the night.

ThinkStock

After the wedding, James & Kate went back to their hotel room, presumably to "consummate" the marriage. The couple got into an argument and Prichard pulled out a 9mm pistol...which she was packing underneath her wedding dress. Prichard allegedly pointed the gun at her husband's head and pulled the trigger. The pistol wasn't loaded, so Prichard put a round in the chamber and fired a warning shot into the air.

The not-so-blushing bride was still wearing her wedding dress when she was arrested for aggravated domestic assault. [WBBJ-TV]

I doubt anybody got the groom a restraining order as a wedding gift.

Sweden- A man's quest for a fuller phallus turned fatal...

A new report has been published in the Journal of Forensic Sciences about a 30-year-old man who DIED following a phalloplasty--a.k.a. penile enhancement surgery--earlier this year.

Thinkstock

The patient went into cardiac arrest during the operation and doctors were unable to save him.

The procedure is commonly performed by taking fat cells from other parts of the body using liposuction and injecting them into the penis. A pulmonary fat embolism was listed as the cause of death.

More than 8,000 male enlargement surgeries take place every year, this is the first documented death linked to the procedure. [NY Post]

Evidently, nobody ever told this guy "it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean."

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