This is gonna be REALLY awkward for the next person he dates. This is "Crappy News" for Tuesday, January 8th, 2019.

Charlotte, NC- A kidnapper chased a woman into a karate studio...which wound up being a bad idea.

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46-year-old August Williams tried forcing the victim into his car Thursday night. She was able to get away, but Williams followed her into a strip mall. The woman ran inside a nearby karate studio, where she found the head instructor.

Williams confronted the man and started swinging at him. You can probably imagine what happened next: the instructor left him laying, and Williams had to be taken out on a stretcher.

Police said Williams was on drugs at the time of the assault. He faces multiple counts of assault, as well as charges of resisting arrest and first-degree kidnapping. [WSOC-TV]

Lake Worth, FL- A woman assaulted her parents...for not taking her to Outback Steakhouse.

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28-year-old Deana Seltzer lives with her parents and REALLY wanted to go to Outback, but they said no.

Seltzer snapped, allegedly punching her mom, flipping over the dining room table, and chasing her dad with a kitchen knife threatening to kill him. Her father was able to wrestle the knife away from her before cops showed up.

Seltzer faces two counts of aggravated assault, battery, and battery on a person over 65 years old. No word on if she actually went to Outback. [CBS 12]

Hey...I love fake Australian cuisine as much as the next person. But not quite this much.

Houston, TX- A man went to great lengths to win back his wife's trust.

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Jose Torres walked into a tattoo parlor last week to pledge his love to his wife. That's not so strange. What is strange is the tattoo itself.

Torres apparently CHEATED on his wife, and got a massive upper body tattoo to make up for the "pain and suffering" he'd caused her. The tattoo is basically an enormous apology note, in which Torres refers to himself as a liar, manipulator, deceiver, dishonest and disrespectful.

Making things even more embarrassing is that the tattoo contains multiple spelling errors. A photo of the terrible tat has gone viral. It's uncertain if Mrs. Torres took him back. [NewsHub]

He should start saving for divorce. And lots of laser treatments.

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