CRAPPY NEWS – 1/11/17
Happy Hump Day! Here are today's headlines:
Cops find a different kind of green inside a man's pickle jar, a naked police chase, and a man tries to shoot his family because of a grilled cheese sandwich...
Longview, TX- A man called the cops on his neighbor but wound up getting busted himself.
Longview PD arrived on the scene to investigate the report, but the caller wasn't home. Police did a welfare check and found about 2.3 pounds of marijuana sealed in plastic bags and pickle jars throughout the house.
The homeowner, 62-year-old Randy Linwood, arrived home and told police he had called to report a problem he was having with his neighbor. [UPI]
Next time you file a complaint you may want to make sure your house isn't a GROW house...
Gila Bend, AZ- A woman stole a police vehicle and led cops on a high-speed chase...all while completely nude!
Police were called to check on 31-year-old Lisa Luna was spotted by witnesses at a local gas station. When one of the deputies went to help her she entered his vehicle and sped away!
The chase continued for more than 75 miles before Luna was caught and arrested.
Investigators later discovered that--shockingly--Luna was high on drugs at the time of the incident. [Fox 10 Phoenix]
I know. I'm JUST as surprised as you are.
Dundalk, MD- A partially-eaten sandwich led to a police standoff.
55-year-old Daniel Brian Blackwell allegedly fired a gun inside his home, because either his wife or daughter had taken a bite of his grilled cheese sandwich.
His family ran out of the house, but Blackwell barricaded himself inside for THREE HOURS before surrendering.
Authorities found 15 firearms inside the home. Blackwell has been charged with attempted first-and second-degree murder, first-and second-degree assault, reckless endangerment, and a slew of weapons violations. [WBAL-TV]
No one bothered to ask what kind of cheese was on the sandwich? Velveeta is NOT worth killing for. Muenster? Gouda? Gruyere? Possibly...