In today's headlines:

A man could go to prison for 10 years because of a note, a woman doesn't like taking it slow, and a woman assaults bar staff after complaining about the DJ...

Denver, CO- A man was arrested after making a false bomb threat...while on an AIRPLANE.

Thinkstock

20-year-old Cameron Korth was traveling to Denver from San Diego when he alerted the flight crew about a note he found saying there was a bomb on board. The crew smartly notified airport authorities, who contacted the FBI. Police didn't find any explosives, so they asked Korth to write down an account of what he saw. Investigators noticed his handwriting looked STRIKINGLY similar to the writing on the note, so Korth was arrested.

He now faces up to 10 YEARS in prison for conveying false information. [Consumerist / USDOJ]

He couldn't have just sat on the plane and hogged the armrest like a NORMAL person?

Detroit, MI- 29-year-old Batina Jackson recently met a 39-year-old guy online.  They'd been on a few dates she wanted to be exclusive. He said it was too soon for that, so she responded by STABBING HIM.

Thinkstock

The victim told cops he woke up to a sharp pain in his back. Then he rolled over, and saw her holding a steak knife.

Jackson ended up stabbing him nine times. She claims he actually attacked HER, and she stabbed him in the back in self-defense.

She's facing charges for assault with intent to murder. [ClickOnDetroit]

She was also in the news in 2016 for getting scammed out of $4,000 trying to buy a car on Craigslist using iTunes gift cards. Perhaps she should stay off the Internet for a bit...

Gladstone, Queensland, Australia- A woman attacked a bar manager and a security guard because the DJ wouldn't play her song!

Thinkstock

44-year-old Raquel Hudson was at a holiday party with co-workers when she began verbally abusing club employees.

When the bar manager tried to escort her out, Hudson grabbed her by the throat and punched a security guard.

Hudson's lawyer claims her client doesn't remember much from that night and told police at the time she believed her drink was spiked leading up to the attack.

Hudson, who has since lost her job, was given a $600 fine and has been banned from the hotel for 12 months. [Daily Mail]

Just remember, ladies...it's not the DJ's fault! Make one person happy, or make everybody happy? TOUGH CHOICE.

Get your daily dose of dumb every weekday at 8:15! #CrappyNewsWithHappyMusic

Follow Slater on Twitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the RadioPup app!