TGIF! Here are today's headlines:

An adult man can't stop calling 911, a drunk couple get frisky in a ditch, and a man hallucinates his wife cheating on him...

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Cincinnati, OH- A man is in jail after repeatedly making fake 911 calls.

Brian Goetz had made 11 such calls since September of 2016. Authorities say his false reports include:

  • Claiming he was holding a female hostage and had intentions to kill her
  • Two calls about shooting an intruder in his home
  • Two accusations of being shot in the buttocks.

Goetz had also been arrested for false claims in 2004, 2007 AND 2014. [NewsWest9.com]

Seriously? What person OLDER than age 10 does this?

St. Paul, MN- A drunk driver crashed into a ditch, then had sex while still in his car...

27-year-old Alan Kreuger swerved off the road Monday and crashed into a ditch. A passing motorist stopped to see if anyone was inside the vehicle when she saw Krueger and his girlfriend copulating. The concerned citizen called police.

Krueger failed a field sobriety test, became belligerent and spit at officers. He was arrested for assault and DWI, the girlfriend was not charged. [KARE-TV]

Soooo many bad decisions in this story, it's hard to keep track of all of them...

Enyon, PA- A man attacked his wife after he dreamed about her having an affair!

According to police, 49-year-old Conrad Rudavalage had been drinking Saturday night before falling asleep. He sprung awake during the night convinced his wife had been unfaithful. He allegedly struck his wife in the face, chased her outside, tackled her in their driveway and began to choke her. His teenage daughter tried to call 911 before he attacked HER.

Rudavalage has a preliminary hearing next week for a charge of attempted murder. [Elite Daily]

Please remind me to NEVER go out drinking with this guy!

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