In today's news:

A man gets arrested for doing something his bank LET him do, a guy picks a really bad time to steal a TV, and some friends drunkenly cut the WRONG kind of wood...

THINKSTOCK

Goulburn, Australia- If your bank made a mistake, and you could withdraw UNLIMITED money from your checking account...what would you do? Report the glitch? Or party like a rock star? A guy named Luke Moore went with Option B.

Moore discovered the loophole and wound up taking out approximately $2 MILLION before he got caught. He spent the cash on exotic cars--including a $91,000 Aston Martin and a $169,000 Maserati--along with valuable pieces of music and sports memorabilia. He took lavish vacations, bought a boat, and (naturally) spent a crap-ton of money on cocaine and strippers...because WHO WOULDN'T?

Moore was sentenced to seven years in prison last year for fraud. But he appealed because he said there was no fraud . . . he just took money out and his bank let him. A court AGREED, so his conviction was overturned and Moore was released after only serving five months.

When asked if he would do it again, Mr Moore said he wouldn't but he does miss the 'cocaine, strippers and fast cars.' [Daily Mail]

Port St. Lucie, Florida- A man tried to shoplift a 58-inch TV from a local Walmart.

Surveillance cameras spotted James Walsh trying to leave the store without paying for the TV, and store security began to chase him.

That chase caught the attention of a group of police officers, who happened to be at the store for a "Shop With a Cop" event, where cops let underprivileged children pick Christmas presents for themselves and family members.

Those cops joined in on chasing James, and they quickly caught him and arrested him. He's been charged with grand theft...and REALLY bad timing. [CBS 6 Albany]

Vanatory, Romania- A man's sex life could be marred forever after his friend accidentally hit him in the GROIN. With a CHAINSAW.

The 49-year-old man and his 53-year-old friend had been drinking before heading to cut firewood. The "friend" was lunging the chainsaw towards him when he accidentally got too close and severed part of his pal's manhood!

His wife--who witnessed the horrific accident alongside their 14-year-old son--now wants to press charges against her husband's friend. But the accused man insists it was a just an innocent joke that went wrong.

He said: "I was holding the chainsaw and I said: 'Be careful - I could cut your knees'.

"Everything happened in play, it was a joke. I didn't want to cut him, I was helping him to cut wood and this is what happened."

The victim is in serious but stable condition at the hospital. [Mirror]

That's impossible. A man CAN NOT be in "stable" condition after losing his junk! Nothing is stable after something like that! #NopeNopeNope

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