CRAPPY NEWS – 12/15/16
In case you missed this morning’s “Crappy News With Happy Music” here are today’s headlines:
An actual case of "death by chocolate," a FedEx employee is probably getting fired, and two men get robbed after refusing to have sex (yes, REALLY)...
Fedortsovo, Russia- A 24-year-old woman was killed after falling into a mixer of melted chocolate.
Svetlana Roslina is believed to have been crushed while trying to escape the vat. One witness said Svetlana fell in while emptying ingredients into the giat container, another claimed that she reached into the mixer after dropping her cell phone.
This takes "death by chocolate" to an entirely new--and scary--level. [Metro]
Roseville, California- A FedEx driver is in trouble after letting a homeless guy sign for a package.
The driver delivered a custom-order guitar and ukulele to a local music shop and mistook a man loitering outside the store as an employee. The man waited for the FedEx guy to leave before taking off with the packages.
While police are trying to track down the stolen goods, the shop's owner has placed a rush order in hopes the replacement instruments might make it in time for Christmas.
Chances are, that driver's day did not end on a GOOD NOTE. [CBS Sacramento]
Fort Walton Beach, Florida- Two women have been arrested for armed robbery after being turned down for sex...
Shelly Adair and April Garica-Bonilla followed the victims home after a party early Sunday morning. Once they got to the guys' place, Shelly and April told them they wanted to get-it-on. But the men SPURNED them, so one of the women pulled out a KNIFE and demanded money.
The two suspsects were quickly tracked down by police and arrested.
Ladies, you get mad at us when we want sex too much AND when we don't want it at all...MAKE UP YOUR MINDS! [Northwest Florida Daily News]
Get your daily dose of dumb every weekday at 8:10! #CrappyNewsWithHappyMusic
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