Here are today's top stories:

A woman takes her online dating waaaay too literally, a guy would rather sleep in jail than sleep with his wife, and a Star Wars fan should've used Jedi mind tricks on himself...


North Yorkshire, England- A woman found a unique way to get revenge on a guy who dumped her.

35-year-old Zoe Jackson met 46-year-old Gerard Brogan on the popular singles site Plenty of Fish. Gerard broke things off after about three months, and Zoe did not take it well. She sneaked into his backyard and filled his hot tub with...plenty of fish...dead fish. Brogan was gone on a trip and didn't discover the fish guts stewing in the hot water until TWO DAYS later. [She Knows]

At least he'll always remember the good times. Hopefully no one from "Match" or "Tinder" will try to burn his house down...

Kansas City, KS- This is a...creative...way to get out of an unhappy marriage.

70-year-old Lawrence Ripple walked into a bank in September, and passed the teller a note that said, quote, "I have a gun, give me your cash." The teller complied and gave him approximately $2,900.

But instead of fleeing the scene with the cash, Ripple simply sat down in the lobby and waited for police to get there. When cops questioned Ripple, he explained that he wanted to go to jail...because it was a better option than living with his wife. []

Can't EVERY husband relate to this a little? It's probably cheaper than divorce...

Cornelius, OR- A man fell asleep at a movie theatre and almost got stuck inside.

The Washington County Sheriff's Department responded to a call from a man who had fallen asleep while watching a showing of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Justin Haworth woke up around 1 a.m. Christmas Eve to find that not only had the movie ended, but the entire theatre was empty--employees included.

He tried to exit the building but the motion sensor alarm went off. Haworth then called police, who escorted him out. [The Oregonian / KOIN]

I guess the force didn't awaken him quite fast enough.

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