CRAPPY NEWS – 12/29/16
Turns out, Robin Williams ISN'T dead...but he IS a drug dealer. Did you know that former President Bush is illegally buying endangered animals? Or that Denzel Washington strangled his mom? A series of celebrities (or at least people named after them) got into quite a bit of trouble in 2016. Let's review!
Payson, AZ- Robin Williams AND Tupac were arrested for drug trafficking. Nope, not kidding.
This Robin Williams happens to be a female. Her and her associate, 19-year-old Tupac Crum, were busted transporting 114 POUNDS of weed from New Mexico earlier this month.
A search of their vehicle yielded five large plastic-wrapped packages of marijuana. The pot had a street value of about $69,000. [12 News]
I'm sure the real Tupac would be very proud of their efforts...
London, England- A man named George Bush was arrested back in January for selling some...unusual...items on eBay. Those unusual items? Monkey heads!
Bush had a supplier in Indonesia that would send him the heads of endangered macaque monkeys. Bush would then mount them and sell them online. Police also found 71 images of extreme bestiality porn on his cell phone. [Buzzfeed]
George Bush is an international criminal...I knew it all along! You never fooled me!
New York City, NY- This maybe the strangest domestic dispute story of the year.
A 20-year-old man named Denzel Washington was sent to jail after strangling his mother...ARETHA FRANKLIN. To the best of our knowledge, neither is related to their namesakes.
Denzel did not show much Glory in attempting to harm his mother, though he did use his hands instead of 2 Guns. Washington pleaded guilty to harassment and will be forced to attend anger management courses, where hopefully he'll learn some R-E-S-P-E-C-T (Okay...I'm done now). [New York Post]
Get your daily dose of dumb every weekday at 8:15! #CrappyNewsWithHappyMusic
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