CRAPPY NEWS – 1/23/17
Happy Monday! Here are today's headlines:
A woman is linked to a car theft because of dentures, police make the easiest drunk driving arrest ever, and a crook leaves his toddler behind at a crime scene...
Lady Lake, FL- Cops connected a stolen car to a toothless woman when they found her dentures inside.
Police responded to a report of a suspicious person trying to enter homes. Authorities found a grey car with the door open and dome light on, then saw 31-year-old Lindsey Stanley-McShane wandering the streets trying to break into a pickup truck.
Officers then found her shoes AND her false teeth inside they grey car, which had been reported stolen. Stanley-McShane was take to a hospital for drug treatment and was then arrested. [Daily Commercial]
She was one dab of Fixodent away from freedom. So sad...
Ocklawaha, FL- Officers probably made the easiest drunk driving arrest of their careers last Saturday.
35-year-old Joanna McDaniel was pulled over for driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Patrol asked if she'd been drinking, and she held up a can of Michelob Ultra. She refused a breathalyzer test and demanded a lawyer.
UNBELIEVABLY, that was all the evidence police needed to charge her with DUI. [Villages-News.com]
Chicago, IL- A man stole packages from a FedEx truck last week...but left behind some precious cargo of his own.
The FedEx driver was eating lunch Wednesday when at least one man broke into his truck and began removing packages. A passerby spotted the robber putting the boxes in his car and called police. Cops tracked down the car, but the suspect fled when they tried to pull him over. He left behind all the packages...along with his one-year-old child in the backseat.
I know it's early, but this guy is a major candidate for 2017 Father of the Year. [Chicago Tribune]
Get your daily dose of dumb every weekday at 8:15! #CrappyNewsWithHappyMusic
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