CRAPPY NEWS – 1/26/17
A kid steals a car to meet a cop, a man beats up his mom over the TV remote, and a woman uses her "lady business" as a weapon...
Parker, SD- A man stole a car...to meet with his parole officer!
21-year-old Ashton Olsen had recently been released from jail and had a meeting with his p.o. on Monday. And he knew he probably shouldn't miss that, so he hopped in a running car and took off.
During his meeting, police found the stolen car in the parking lot. Olsen was then arrested for felony possession of a stolen vehicle. [Sioux Falls Argus Leader]
Gotta admire the kid's initiative! If only he valued intelligence as much as punctuality...
Bath, PA- A 42-year-old man has been jailed after a domestic dispute--with his mom.
According to police reports, David Cantrell became enraged when his mother CHANGED THE TV CHANNEL. Cantrell punched her in the mouth, threw her to the ground, choked her till she lost consciousness, then yelled "I hope you die."
Cantrell was arrested Sunday night for harassment and aggravated assault and is being held on $75,000 bail. [NBC 10 - Philadelphia]
I'm not sure what show he was watching, but this guy clearly needs to invest in a DVR...
St. Petersburg, FL- A woman tried a creative--and disgusting--way to ward off police.
28-year-old Tecora Fields was involved in a fight Monday evening. When cops arrived, Tecora very politely told officers to "suck her p****."
Authorities claim that Fields “was then seen with both her hands in her genital area, with her pants open." She then proceeded to throw her USED TAMPON at one of the officers!
Fields tried to flee the scene, but was subdued with a taser before being arrested for aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer. [The Smoking Gun]
This lady seems like a real mental menstrual case.
Get your daily dose of dumb every weekday at 8:15! #CrappyNewsWithHappyMusic
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