If you learn anything from today's stories, let it be this: Never leave a digital trail...the cops WILL find you.

San Diego, CA- A man was sentenced to three years in prison this week for bank robbery after leaving perhaps the most obvious clue EVER.

According to court documents, 56-year-old Alvin Neal robbed a Wells Fargo bank back in May, but right before threatening the teller to give him the money...he swiped his ATM card.

The teller ended up giving him $565 from their drawer...then called police who used his account information to look up his name, driver's license, and address. Turns out, Neal is ALSO a registered sex offender, so he was even easier to find. [San Diego Union-Tribune]

Purestock

Philadelphia, PA- A woman is maintaining a conspiracy theory...that the state won't let her win the lottery.

47-year-old Towanda Shields was so obsessed with it she began sending threatening and vulgar voicemails to the State Lottery Headquarters.

Shields is accused of giving specific dates she was going to kill people and told lottery workers she Googled where they live. Shields even went a step further, taunting police that they wouldn't be able to catch her, since she was using "burner phones."

She's wanted for three counts of terroristic threats and 25 counts each of harassment and stalking. [PennLive.com]

I really hope none of her friends or family win the drawing...that could get ugly.

Baton Rouge, LA- Two men were arrested for attempted kidnapping...because they documented it on Facebook Live.

23-year-old Tony Green & 25-year-old Keeston Davis recorded a video of themselves pulling a woman out of her house. When that failed, they busted the home's windows and fled. The duo drove to a different residence and attacked another victim with a hammer and knives. The entire incident, about 30 minutes in length, was posted to Green's Facebook page.

In addition to attempted kidnapping, Green and Davis face charges including attempted second-degree murder and aggravated criminal damage to property. [Yahoo]

Probably not the best way to get your own reality show...

Get your daily dose of dumb every weekday at 8:15! #CrappyNewsWithHappyMusic

Follow Slater on Twitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the RadioPup app!