CRAPPY NEWS – 2/10/17
In today's headlines:
A Canadian guy does something only a Canadian guy would do, a newlywed is frustrated about his lack of sex, and spaghetti leads to a police standoff...
Saanich, British Columbia, Canada- A man probably did the most Canadian thing ever.
A farmer tried to clear some snow from the road in front of his house Monday night. But he didn't use a shovel or a snowblower...he used a ZAMBONI!
The man was pulled over by police and issued a warning, because Zambonis aren't "street legal." Interestingly, the Zamboni didn't even clear the snow...it just smoothed it down into a patch of ice, which probably made the road even worse. [CTV]
But now he can have an awesome hockey setup in his yard, so that's a win...
Fort Myers, FL- A couple's young love is off to a bad start.
76-year-old Donald Royce and his 62-year-old wife were married this past summer, but he and his bride have yet to consummate the marriage, and he finally had enough.
According to a police report, Royce said that he had been arguing with his wife about their sleeping arrangements when he decided to scare her by firing two shots into the bedroom mattress. But Royce said he missed the bed, instead striking the victim in the hip and buttocks.
Police have issued a "no contact" order against Royce. [The Smoking Gun]
Yes, a story about your grandparents having sex. Hope you enjoyed your breakfast...
Merrimack, NH- A man found out the hard way to NEVER criticize your partner's cooking.
33-year-old Jodi Ecklund made her boyfriend a plate of spaghetti on Saturday. When she asked him how it tasted, he said "okay." BIG. MISTAKE.
Ecklund punched her beau in the arm and face, then kicked him out of their apartment! He called police, and when they showed up, Ecklund refused to talk to authorities and threatened to SHOOT them if they came inside.
She now faces six felony charges, including criminal mischief, domestic assault, and threatening. [Union Leader]
I'll give this guy some advice that my mother gave me as a boy...just say "it's the best I ever had" and clean the plate! #TheMoreYouKnow
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