In today's headlines:

A toilet tiff lands a mother in jail, a teen driver pretends he's in an action movie, and a scorned dater wants his money back...

Port St. Lucie, FL- This story ACTUALLY has to do with crap.

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67-year-old Gail Higley shares a two-bedroom house with her 44-year-old son. He confronted her a few weeks ago about being too messy in the bathroom. Specifically, his bathroom.

According to police, he accused her of repeatedly leaving poo on his toilet seat. They argued, he grabbed her, and then she slapped him across the face--causing his glasses to scratch his nose. Higley was arrested for battery. [TCPalm.com]

This might be a good excuse for sonny boy to try to find his own place...

Kershaw County, SC- A teenager has been arrested following a crazy police chase.

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An officer spotted 18-year-old Malik Shoulders on the highway Friday night, driving approximately 105 miles-per-hour.

Shoulders didn't stop when the patrol car attempted to pull him over. The chase continued for several miles before Shoulders lost control of his vehicle, flipping the car twice before landing upright. The police dash cam shows Shoulders getting BACK on the road and until losing control again and ending up in a strip mall.

The driver told the arresting office that he fled because there was marijuana in the car and he did not have a valid license. [WLTX]

On the bright side, Vin Diesel just recruited him for Fast & Furious 16.

London, England- A despondent dater asked for a refund.

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38-year-old Lucy Brown met a guy on the dating app Plenty of Fish. We're not sure what happened, but she wasn't interested in a second date. No big deal, right? Except the guy texted her back asking to SEND HIM MONEY for the drinks he bought her. She'd also taken his watch home by mistake, and he said not to return it because it'd be a constant reminder of his pain.

Surprisingly, Lucy actually sent him the money. She then donated the same amount to a DONKEY SANCTUARY...a not-so-subtle way of calling the dude a jackass. [Metro]

I'm not sure if I should make fun of this guy for being awkward or applaud this guy for being honest...

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