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CRAPPY NEWS – 3/10/17

I’d make a lousy criminal, because I’d have the need to actually THINK before I tried any of this stupid stuff.

St. Paul, MN- A thief actually had a pretty good plan, until he left some incriminating evidence behind.

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Thinkstock

32-year-old Alphonso Whitelaw was busted for stealing clothes from a Sears store. Whitelaw had walked into a fitting room with a large stack of clothing, and a store employee saw him walk out with a bunch of the clothes layered underneath his original outfit.

Whitelaw pulled a knife on the worker and fled. Police were able to find Whitelaw because he’d left court papers FROM EARLIER THAT DAY inside the dressing room. He now faces robbery and assault charges. [Pioneer Press]

Leaving the summons behind…gets you EVERY time!

Birmingham, England- A fugitive was ready to turn himself in…but the cops took too long.

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Thinkstock

35-year-old Benjamin Partridge had a domestic warrant against him for about a year and was finally ready to hand himself over to police. Partridge agreed to have officers meet him at his brother-in-law’s house, and even left the door unlocked for them.

But after 45 minutes the police still hadn’t come by, so Partridge got bored, changed his mind and left. Now the cops are trying to track him down AGAIN. [Telegraph]

I’m guessing they’ll work a bit faster to catch him this time around…

Cleveland, OH- Two kids really need to get their lives in gear…

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Thinkstock

Police say 18-year-old Demari Wayne was tied to three separate incidents back in February. During the third carjacking, Wayne and a 15-year-old accomplice held an airsoft gun to a man’s head, forced him out of his vehicle, and snatched his wallet and cell phone.

SLIGHT problem…the man’s car was a Ford Mustang…with a manual transmission. Neither suspect knew how to drive a stickshift, so they allegedly fled on foot with the victim’s cell phone.

Cops tracked the phone and arrested the two teens. Wayne has been charged with three counts of aggravated robbery. [Huffington Post]

Clearly, their driving skills weren’t very CLUTCH.

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