CRAPPY NEWS – 3/13/17
Happy Monday! Here’s your daily dose of dumb.
Caldes de Montbui, Spain- A kid found his grandmother’s secret stash…and shared it with his classmates!
The 10-year-old found nearly 10,000 Euros hidden in his grandma’s house, then took the money to school and began handing it out to kids at his school.
Teachers noticed some of the students carrying large denominations of cash and then traced it to the boy, who obviously didn’t realize he just jacked his abuela’s life savings. School officials have created a webpage asking parents to return the money. [The Local]
“Show & Tell” was never this interesting when I was a kid!
Duncannon, PA- A man has been busted for trying to use 911 as an escort service.
Police say 39-year-old Joel Cummings–yep, that’s his REAL last name–dialed 911 Thursday night requesting the dispatcher to “send girls to his location.” He kept calling and asking for a lady friend until cops eventually showed up at his house.
Then, he received a different kind of escort…to the local police station. [PennLive.com]
Cummings faces one charge of disorderly conduct and 12 charges of excessive horniness.
New York City- A man was arrested for smuggling drugs…because his pants were too tight…
Juan Carlos Luperon was flying into JFK Airport from the Dominican Republic last week. During his TSA search, Luperon seemed very nervous and agents noticed his pants were suspiciously snug. He was escorted to a private search room where authorities found packages of cocaine strapped around his legs!
According to U.S. Customs & Border Protection, approximately 10 lbs. of cocaine was seized, which had an estimated street value of more than $164,000. Luperon now faces federal narcotics charges. [Huffington Post]
Should’ve gone with the relaxed fit jeans, bro…