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CRAPPY NEWS – 3/14/17

You know what they say, “the couple that fakes murders together stays together.” Wait…NOBODY says that?

Sandusky, OH- A couple’s murder hoax didn’t quite go as planned…


Police responded to a call of a homicide Thursday night. Cops later determined that Micah Risner & Natalie Schlette had staged the scene. Schlette had been placed in the bathtub and the couple squirted ketchup all over her body to make it look like blood.

Police say Risner had posted a photo of the fake murder on Facebook and sent text messages to friends confessing to the crime. Cops were not amused by the joke, and the couple was charged with inducing panic. [Sandusky Register]

Maybe wait ’til Halloween the next time you’re going to pretend to kill somebody. Just an idea…

Key West, FL- A drunk man was arrested after playing chicken WITH a chicken.


According to police, 34-year-old Daniel Jones was driving a golf cart erratically and intentionally swerved in the direction of a rooster. Because he was wasted, Jones flipped the golf cart and a female passenger was ejected, suffering a skinned knee and chipped teeth,

Jones’ blood alcohol level was greater than THREE TIMES the legal limit, so he was dinged for DUI causing property damage. [Florida Keys News]

But, at least we FINALLY know why that darn chicken crossed the road.

Deer Park, TX- A mom pulled a gun on another mom…while dropping her kids off at school!


The argument began Thursday morning as a case of road rage, with one woman being angry at the other for driving too fast near the school.

Administrators say the confrontation escalated, with one of the moms pointing a gun at the other. Making things worse, both of the women had children in their vehicles at the time. The gun was not fired and nobody was injured. No charges have been filed. [KHOU]

What a great way to teach your kids about conflict resolution! What happened to taking a deep breath and counting to 10?

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