CRAPPY NEWS – 3/2/17
Remember what I said earlier this week about Florida being full of stupid people? Here are three more stories that drive that message home...
Jacksonville, FL: A man has been charged with arson after setting a motel room on fire.
Employees say 43-year-old Bradley Hartsock had driven his MOTORCYCLE into the room and latched the door closed. Staff warned Hartsock that it was a fire hazard but refused to let anyone inside. Police had to use bolt cutters to enter the room, and they found that the motorcycle wasn't just a fire hazard...it literally started a fire.
Cops found damage to the sheets, bedding, refrigerator, and some clothing...they also detected the smell of gasoline in the room. Hartsock had locked himself in the bathroom during the ordeal, so he was also charged with resisting arrest. [CBS 47 Jacksonville]
If you're going to go to prison, you might as well go out in a BLAZE OF GLORY.
Gainesville, FL: A courtroom is supposed to be a very serious place. This dude found that out the hard way.
24-year-old Jonathan Davis was at his friend's attempted murder trial last week. Someone noticed him recording VIDEO on his cell phone...which you're not allowed to do. Officials saw that he had been streaming the trial on Facebook Live...which you're REALLY not allowed to do.
The judge was furious, so he found Davis in contempt and sentenced him to SIX MONTHS in jail. Davis claimed that he makes music, and he was just recording audio from the trial to use in some new songs. Making matters worse, his friend--the defendant--was found guilty. [Gainesville Sun]
How has Worldstar not found this guy yet??
Port St. Lucie, FL: A man has been arrested for trying too hard to be a rockstar.
45-year-old Lee Howard Koenig, also known by his stage name "Mr. Wooky," was arrested for fraud after illegally purchasing microphones and other audio equipment.
Court documents say Koenig ordered the gear online while assuming the identity of Daniel Adair...the drummer from NICKELBACK.
Adair himself began looking into it, and authorities were able to trace the email address, IP address AND shipping address to Koenig's home. "Mr. Wooky" has been arrested at least two other times for attempting fraud. [TCPalm]
We're all missing the bigger picture here...he actually WANTED to be a dude from Nickelback! The bright side is now he'll have plenty of time to learn "How You Remind Me" and "Jailhouse Rock."