CRAPPY NEWS – 3/23/17
Here are today's headlines:
A man burns ants--as well as his parents' house, a bumbling burglar breaks bones, and a love triangle (shockingly) ends badly...
Old Orchard Beach, ME- A man tried to get rid of some ants and wound up burning down his parents' house!
21-year-old Devon Doucette was in the basement attempting to exterminate ants with wooden matches. One of them ignited some flammable materials and the blaze quickly spread throughout the home.
Sadly, two cats and a dog died in the fire. Doucette was treated for burns and smoke inhalation. His parents weren't home at the time of the fire. [CBS News]
Could've saved himself a lot of trouble if he'd just had a magnifying glass and sunshine.
Alexandria, VA- A clumsy criminal was hospitalized after committing robbery.
21-year-old Leoul Yosef was spotted climbing over a woman's second-floor balcony last Wednesday night. Authorities say Yosef jumped off the balcony to try and escape...but he BROKE HIS LEG and left drag-marks in the snow. Yosef himself called 911 because of the injury.
He was taken to the hospital, and a jail cell will be waiting for him when he gets released. [NBC 4 - Washington, D.C.]
Note to self: Never try to combine burglary and parkour.
Orlando, FL- Most guys dream about their woman wanting another girl...but it usually doesn't play out like this.
31-year-old LaKeisha Legrand and her husband have been married for 8 years and have 4 children together...but she recently decided to start dating WOMEN. Understandably, Mr. Legrand got upset and confronted his wife about leaving their kids alone with the new girlfriend.
According to police, LaKeisha grabbed a bottle of bleach from the closet, unscrewed the cap, and splashed it in her husband's EYES.
She's facing charges of aggravated battery & permanent disfigurement. [ClickOrlando]
I hope her new girlfriend invests in some anger management courses...
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