Here are today's top stories:

A guy LEAVES the hospital in an ambulance, a woman needs to come up with a better alibi, and a criminal has a tacky fashion sense...

North Merrick, NY- An elderly man found an interesting way to get out of the hospital.

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83-year-old Donald Winkler was admitted last week, but didn't like the way he was being cared for. So, he checked himself out and STOLE an ambulance to go home. Winkler saw the ambulance in the parking lot with its keys in the ignition and decided to give it a go.

Cops tracked Winkler down at a convenience store a short time later. He was arrested for grand larceny. [Patch]

What's weird is that he'll probably get better healthcare in jail than if he were in the hospital...

Tensed, ID- A driver came up with a terrible excuse for crashing her car.

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The 50-year-old woman had a totally valid and legitimate reason for hitting a deer on Wednesday--she wasn't drunk, she wasn't texting. Nope! She saw BIGFOOT.

The woman told police that a sasquatch was chasing deer on the side of the road. When she looked in her rearview mirror to watch...she got distracted and struck a deer that had ran in front of her vehicle. The woman claimed that the Bigfoot was between seven and eight feet tall.

AMAZINGLY, officers were unable to find it. [KIVI-TV]

At least blame it on something that actually exists...you know, like a unicorn.

Groves, TX- Speaking of strange creatures, a man wearing a leopard print bathrobe and Crocs tried to rob a McDonald's last week.

Zoonar RF

29-year-old Gevondis Joseph was charged with first degree aggravated robbery following the incident Thursday morning. Joseph was caught by police after trying to flee on foot.

According to KFDM, officers had been told that a gun was used in the robbery, but it was later determined that Joseph used a HAIRBRUSH tucked into his robe to make it appear as a weapon. [KFDM.com]

I guess you have to give him points for creativity, and then immediately deduct those points due to stupidity...and for wearing Crocs.

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