CRAPPY NEWS – 4/6/17

Here are today's top stories:

The Internet doesn't want to help a man propose, a robber has a wardrobe malfunction, and a mythical creature comes to life...

Atlanta, GA- A man started a GoFundMe campaign last week...to pay for his ENGAGEMENT RING.

30-year-old William Oliver is asking for $15,000 ... FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. Oliver posted "This will raise awareness about the difference between the love we share and the love people have for us. Money for the engagement is your chance to get involved."

So far, no one seems to have much love for his plan. The campaign is trending, but even with the publicity, he's only raised about 600 bucks. [Mashable]

Basically, anyone who's said "Y'all are cute" or "Put a ring on it" are expected to help him pay for the ring. Guilting your friends into doing stuff is always the best approach.

Washington, D.C.- A robber forgot a very important detail.

The suspect executed most of his plan flawlessly--he dressed in all black, he showed a weapon, he took cash from the clerk--except for the part where he forgot to PUT HIS MASK ON.

Surveillance video shows the man pulling the mask over his face about halfway through the robbery, and the camera pretty much gets a clear view. The suspect eventually grabbed a fistful of money and dashed out of the store. [Break.com]

He probably won't get the chance to do this again, but he might want to bring a friend along next time.

Fresno, CA- Police are asking for help to identify...a MERMAID.

Police found a woman wandering in the street early Tuesday morning. Cops claimed "her hair was wet, she was mostly naked, and she said she had been in the water."

The woman answers to the name "Joanna," and is described as between 16-30 years old, 5'4", approximately 150 pounds, with dark brown hair and two WEBBED toes on each foot. [USA Today]

Her known associates include a crab, a flounder and a seagull. And she wishes she could be part of that world. Just look for a woman combing her hair with a fork and you'll be set...

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