CRAPPY NEWS – 5/11/17
A cheerleader doesn't want the pep rally to end, a man commits a crime against candy, and a couple defiles a McDonald's...
El Paso, TX- A high school student had some trouble letting go of her glory days.
Police received a call last month from 18-year-old Gina Torrijos that her cheerleading uniforms had been stolen.
According to police, Torrijos received several text messages from an anonymous number stating that her uniforms had been taken. Torrijos also told officers that someone attempted to sneak in through her bedroom window and that the prowler was chased off by her boyfriend.
But the whole story was bogus. Turns out, Torrijos just made up the robbery because she didn't want to give her cheer kit back. She was charged with making a false report and now faces up to SIX MONTHS in jail. [El Paso Times]
I know how she feels...I lost the show choir patch on my letterman's jacket and never found it. VERY traumatizing.
Delray Beach, FL- This guy's weekend was not very sweet...
43-year-old Douglas Woods was arrested after allegedly assaulting an employee at a candy shop.
Police say Woods walked into the store and became angry because no one was in front to help him. A 30-year-old woman managing the store apologized and tried to help him. Woods began yelling obscenities, grabbed a handful of gummy bears and threw them in the her face. [Palm Beach Post]
Just seems like a waste of good product...why didn't he throw black licorice or something gross?
York, PA- Police are still searching for a pair of fast-food fornicators.
The incident happened back in March when a couple started GETTING IT ON inside a McDonald's dining area. An employee saw it--ahem, "going down"--and called police, but the couple left before cops could get there.
The male was identified as 30-year-old Conrad Jablecki, but police have yet to find the female suspect.
Both are being charged with lewd conduct and indecent exposure. [Penn Live]
At least SOMEBODY had a Happy Meal that day...that's all I have to say about that.