CRAPPY NEWS – 5/16/17
A woman takes her dog to a robbery, a church has some horny parishioners, and a guy trolls his neighbors for four years...
Oklahoma City, OK- A woman got arrested because of her four-legged friend.
26-year-old Clara Aguirre robbed a restaurant Sunday morning. Aguirre smashed screens and a credit card machine with a hammer, then tried to run off with the cash register before she was able to break it open.
Aguirre took off with a few handfuls of cash, but got hung up when trying to climb a fence...because she had to help her DOG get over it, too (she just left her dog OUTSIDE after committing robbery). Adding to the absurdity, the dog actually starting running with the cops as they pursued Aguirre.
She was jailed for robbery with a dangerous weapon. [KFOR-TV]
Finally some payback for those people that bring their dogs EVERYWHERE.
Nashville, TN- City officials are trying to shut down a sex club posing as a CHURCH.
The establishment, known as The Social Club, finally got--ahem, exposed--when undercover city inspectors came in a few months back and found rooms with beds, including some with foot and hand rests and some with partial walls allowing for viewing. They also witnessed several events of sexual activity.
The club is zoned as a church and is located less than 1,000 feet from a Christian school...so, naturally, residents are a bit upset. The owners of the club are fighting to keep the place open, but they're being charged with lewd conduct. [NewsChannel 5]
Look, just because a lot of people are inside screaming "Oh, God" doesn't make it a church...
Elkhorn, NE- A man REALLY hates his neighbors.
45-year-old Douglas Goldsberry had a problem with a couple that lived across the street, so much so that he hired prostitutes to stand on their front porch and strip. This had apparently been going on since 2013...and Goldsberry had paid for this service at least 75 TIMES.
Police added that Goldsberry would pleasure himself from inside his home while watching the stripteases.
Goldsberry has been charged with felony pandering and could be sentenced to four years in prison [Omaha World Herald]
Somehow, the husband convinced his wife to not call the cops for FOUR years? I wonder why... ;-)