CRAPPY NEWS – 5/5/17
TGIF! Here are today's top stories: A parent freaks out, a college student breaks in, and a husband needs to look into getting another bank account...
Ashwaubenon, WI- A high school was evacuated because a student showed up wearing a Storm Trooper mask.
Officials said a concerned parent called police after seeing someone walk into the school with "unusual clothing." Apparently this person has not EVER seen Star Wars before or failed to make the connection that yesterday was May 4th, A.K.A "May the 4th Be with You."
The school posted on Facebook that there was no threat, but that the student would be held accountable. [Fox 6]
Accountable for what? Some idiot parent that didn't get the joke? That mom needs to go to a galaxy far, far away.
Lexington, KY- The stress of finals week led two students to do something...drastic.
University of Kentucky students Henry Lynch & Troy Kiphuth were busted trying to steal a statistics exam from a professor.
The two students had crawled through ventilation ducts to get into the teacher's office early Tuesday morning. What they DIDN'T expect was that the stats professor would be working late that night.
University police say Professor John Cain left his office around midnight to get something to eat. When he returned about an hour later, he found his office door was blocked and called the cops.
Lynch also admitted that he'd tried to steal the exam EARLIER that day, but couldn't find it. Both students were charged with third-degree burglary. [Lexington Herald Leader]
Crawling through air vents to steal a statistics test? What's the PROBABILITY that it was actually going to work?
Colombia- A woman hid money from her husband. That may not be weird. Where she PUT the money definitely is...
The 30-year-old woman had an argument with her hubby after she sold a bunch of his electronics for $7,000. In a desperate attempt to hide the money, she SWALLOWED it.
Doctors removed 57 rolled-up $100 bills from her stomach and intestines, but couldn't retrieve the other 13...so she had to PASS THEM. The money that was recovered is still usable, but why would you WANT to use it at this point? [Mirror]
This is an ACTUAL "crapload" of money.
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