Happy Monday! Here are today's top stories:

A man STRIKES his neighbor, an elderly man loves loud porn, and a porn star gets attacked by a shark...

Missoula, MT- A man was arrested after attacking his neighbor with a BOWLING PIN.

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51-year-old Michael Schumacher was involved in a fight with his neighbor at a motel last Tuesday. The other man allegedly punched Schumacher in self-defense. After the fight had been broken up, Schumacher returned and tried to smash him in the head with the bowling pin.

Witnesses say Schumacher also threatened to shoot the neighbor. [Billings Gazette]

My question is this...who has a bowling pin just laying around. Maybe this one was just a SPARE? ;-)

Hennef, Germany- A man was fined for playing his porn too loudly...

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The unidentified elderly man was in court last week after neighbors complained about the volume. The neighbors claimed they'd been so put off by the sexual noises from next door, they could no longer watch their favorite TV shows during the day.

The man is hard of hearing, so he had to turn his TV up super loud in order to hear all of the action. When the judge asked why the man didn't use headphones, the man said he'd be unable to hear his doorbell or burglars.

He was forced to pay his neighbors a $100 fine, but if there's another complaint he'll have to fork over an additional $550. [Metro]

Honestly, I get pretty mad when my TV-watching gets interrupted, so I totally get it.

Somewhere in Florida- Speaking of porn, an adult model was the victim of a SHARK attack during shoot.

Ingram Publishing

Molly Cavalli was filming some--ahem, "promotional material"--underwater in a shark cage.

Either her foot was out of place or the cage wasn't secured well enough, because a lemon shark swam past and bit her on the ankle. She was immediately pulled from the water and the shoot was called off. [Daily Mail]

Cavalli received 20 stitches for her wound, and she's probably looking for other safer career options...like Jell-o wrestling, perhaps...

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