Words of wisdom: Don't drink more than you can handle, don't leave your car in a parking lot too long, and don't pretend a strip club ISN'T a strip club...

Pittsburgh, PA- A pair of brothers were arrested for assaulting police...on their birthday.

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Joshua and Justin Pavlack were celebrating their 27th birthday at a Pittsburgh Pirates baseball game Saturday night and things got SLIGHTLY out of hand.

Police were trying to escort two women out of a security office when the brothers became combative with officers. One cop claims that Justin Pavlack attempted to grab the officer's gun off his belt. Joshua Pavlack allegedly threw punches at another officer. The two female suspects, 30-year-old Jacobi Finnegan and 22-year-old Jocelyn Baker, were also arrested for disorderly conduct.

Police said all four involved were belligerent and highly intoxicated. [WTAE]

Drunk people being belligerent? YOU DON'T SAY.

Salem, NH- The owner of a convenience store was arrested for vandalizing cars parked outside of his business.

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36-year-old Yogesh Patel called police Friday night to report cars illegally parked by his store. When police arrived they found 10 cars with deflated tires. Patel and an employee had gone into the parking lot and DRILLED HOLES in more than 20 tires.

Officers looked at store surveillance video and saw the two men damaging the cars. Both have been charged with criminal mischief and falsifying evidence. [Eagle-Tribune]

New York City- A gentlemen's club tried a creative scheme to avoid paying taxes.

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Proprietors of the Penthouse Executive Club tried to write off $3.1 MILLION in taxes by claiming that their dancers were actually sex therapists. The club argued that "what is provided is...a nontaxable service similar to a therapeutic massage conducted in a sensual manner or personal services provided by a therapist."

Unfortunately, an appeals court disagreed, and the club has to pay back the cash. [New York Daily News]

They're going to regret that decision when they get their payments in $1 bills. Someone is going to have a rough time counting that...

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