CRAPPY NEWS – 6/12/17
Happy Monday! Here are today's top stories:
A man gets assaulted with cereal, geese destroy Disney dreams, and a couple has a randy rendezvous during their flight...
Eureka, CA- A guy was arrested for shooting a man last week...but it's not nearly as heinous as it sounds.
29-year-old Timothy Glass allegedly shot the victim in the hand with a flare gun. Inside the flare gun was a shotgun shell...that had been filled with Rice Krispies.
The victim decided not to press charges, but Glass was arrested anyway because he violated his probation. Glass then got into it with police, so he was also charged with resisting arrest. [KRCR-TV]
I'm NOT going to make a joke about being a "cereal killer." That would be silly...
Anaheim, CA- The "Happiest Place on Earth" turned into the "Crappiest."
17 guests at Disneyland were victims of a mystery poop attack on Friday. Eleven adults and six children were sprayed by a flock of geese that had flown overhead.
Apparently, it was dramatic enough that the police, fire department, and a HazMat team were called in to investigate. They concluded that no crime had occurred and that it was simply an act of nature. There's no word on if Disney plans on doing anything to make it up to the victims. [L.A. Times]
You already know somebody is going to sue Disney because of this...like they've got control of the birds in the sky.
Manchester, England- A kinky couple got caught on video joining the Mile High Club...
The duo was aboard a flight from Manchester to Ibiza on Wednesday when the mood struck, and they didn't exactly try to hide it. Most couples would try to sneak off to the lavatory or cover themselves with a blanket, but not these two lovebirds. They started getting it on IN THEIR SEAT.
Some passengers complained, while others took the opportunity to chronicle the entire thing on video. Strangely, crew didn't do anything to stop the mid-flight fornicating...now the airline is investigating. Doesn't seem like there's too much to investigate. It looks pretty clear what's happening. [Daily Mail]
But did they have their tray tables up and their seat back in the full upright position?