CRAPPY NEWS – 6/13/17
A sex club is missing a fire exit, a Family Feud® that Steve Harvey could be proud of, and a guy gets his tool stuck in a tool...
Sunderland, England- A swingers club was shut down last week, but not for the reason you may think.
The S&M sex club was ordered to close because of health and safety issues.
Town officials noticed the back entrance could only be opened from the outside, so there was no way it could be used during a fire. The fire department also said that lots of the equipment inside would make a blaze burn faster, like giant wooden crosses and sex swings.
The owner was charged with a misdemeanor. [Telegraph]
Just to recap...the whips, bondage, and sex dungeon are TOTALLY cool. Not having a fire exit? Completely unacceptable!
Lancaster, PA- Five relatives were arrested after brawling at a Waffle House...
The Shivers family--56-year-old Deborah, 37-year-old Tyneisha, 37-year-old Tonisha, 31-year-old Latonia, and 25-year-old Mercedes--was eating at the Waffle House early Sunday morning when they began fighting. Nobody really knows what started it, but a fellow customer did the right thing and tried to break it up...JUST KIDDING...they filmed the whole thing.
The video shows the women pulling hair, throwing punches, and slinging food at each other. Each of the ladies was charged with disorderly conduct. No word on if they were scattered, smothered or covered. [The Smoking Gun]
Linhai City, China- I don't REALLY want to know how this happened. But he's single, so you can probably figure it out...
A man was hospitalized after getting his junk stuck in a WRENCH.
The 37-year-old bachelor had the wrench attached for nearly 17 hours (??) before he sought medical attention. By that time, his manhood had started to swell and turn purple!
Strangely, doctors needed his parents' consent to operate on him...and they didn't show up to sign the paperwork, so doctors had to find another way to remove it. After all other efforts failed, a DENTAL DRILL was used to dislodge the wrench from the patient. [Metro]
It's not 100% certain why the man chose to put a wrench on his penis. My guess? He was just trying to tighten his nuts.