CRAPPY NEWS – 6/23/17
TGIF! Here's your daily dose of dumb:
Police have their eye on a hooker, a crook faceplants, and a fast-food felon freaks out...
Springfield, OH- An elderly man was robbed by a sexy cyclops...
An 88-year-old man told officers that he picked up a prostitute around 9:30 Wednesday morning, and she stole his wallet after "servicing" him. The man called his bank, which told him several purchases had been made on his credit card after it was stolen.
The only distinguishing feature he could remember about the woman is that she was MISSING AN EYE.
The man was not arrested...I guess the cops figured being robbed by a one-eyed hooker was embarrassing enough. [Springfield News-Sun]
Wellington, FL- A thief was almost done in by his own pants.
Two guys broke into a car that was parked in a driveway early Sunday morning. They grabbed what they could, but they were startled when another car came down the street, so they ran back to their vehicle. At least ONE of them did.
The other co-conspirator accidentally lost his pants, tripped, and bonked his head on the door of their getaway car. And a security camera got a perfect look at the whole thing.
Police say the crooks made off with a $500 stethoscope, a phone charger and some loose change. [CBS 12 - West Palm Beach]
I hope there was enough there to help this guy buy a belt. Or pants that fit.
Puyallup, WA- This girl takes her fast food VERY seriously.
The 19-year-old female was arrested Sunday after pulling a GUN on a drive-thru employee at Jack in The Box.
Why so trigger happy? There were lots of cars in line ahead of her...and she had to wait a really long time to get her drink...and (worst of all) they shorted her ONE chicken nugget.
This was the straw that broke the camel's back, as she confronted the employee at the window at threw the beverage at her. Then one of her teenage passengers pulled out the gun.
She drove off after that, but a customer got her license plate number and police tracked her down. They found her hiding in the attic of her garage, and both of the passengers were arrested too. [Q13 Fox]