CRAPPY NEWS – 6/8/17
Here are today's top stories:
A shoplifter stuffs oil in his pants, a man records a shark attack, and a woman's booty call goes bad...
Bartow, FL- A dude tried to shoplift 15 quarts of motor oil form a convenience store...by shoving them down his pants.
38-year-old William Hall strolled into a 7-Eleven last week wearing excessively baggy jeans. Hall walked down an aisle and hid the bottles in his pants. He then walked through another aisle and took several DVDs.
I guess you could say this kind of theft was pretty...UNCONVENTIONAL. Get it? Motor oil? Conventional? Eh...nevermind.
Key West, FL- A man was attacked by a shark...and caught it on camera!
The victim was in the ocean spearfishing with a friend on Sunday when a reef shark swam by and took a chunk out of his leg. He was wearing a GoPro camera, which captured the whole thing on video. His friend was able to get him back to their boat.
I'm glad he's ok, but here's my question: WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THE SPEAR, BRO?!
Clearwater, FL- A woman showed up at her ex's place for a booty call. The problem? She was completely uninvited...
27-year-old Krystina Joy Rivera texted her ex-boyfriend early Wednesday morning wanting to hook up, but he never responded. So, she took matters into her own hands and showed up unannounced at his place around 5:00 a.m.
She forced her way in and found her ex-flame, Ronald Koch, in bed. With his NEW girlfriend. According to police, Rivera attacked the other woman (or would she be the other woman in this scenario?) and punched her in the face!
I can't believe a guy would break up with such a sane, rational woman like this.