‘Crappy News’ Presents: 2017’s Parents Of The Year!

This edition of 'Crappy News' goes out to those moms and dads that should NEVER be allowed to procreate ever again. These are my Parents of the Year for 2017!

HONORABLE MENTION:

• An Ohio woman was arrested after her toddler was found with cocaine in her system.
• A woman decided to drive home while her nine-year-old son was strapped inside an inflatable plastic pool on top of her van. She told police that HER father let her do stuff like that when she was a kid, so she thought her son would be safe.
• A mom in Texas was finally arrested after sending her son to the hospital unnecessarily 323 times over the past seven years.
• A man was arrested for selling heroin in the maternity ward of the hospital while visiting his newborn child.

And now, for the winners...

Johnston, IA- A mom ditched her kids so she could fly to Germany for Oktoberfest.

Police received a call that children were left at home unsupervised. Officers found four kids--ranging in age from 6 to 12--alone inside the house. The Department of Human Services took custody of the children and 30-year-old Erin Macke was arrested and charged with four counts of child endangerment when she returned to the U.S.

Tiffin, IA- A dad was charged with OWI and child endangerment after driving drunk while his three-year-old was inside the vehicle.

36-year-old Craig Vorba was pulled over on I-380 back in September after cops noticed his car driving erratically. A breathalyzer test showed Vorba's blood alcohol content at .328, more than FOUR TIMES the state's legal limit.

LaGrande, WA- This couple is as good at parenting as they are at multitasking.

The lovers were both fully nude--having sex in the FRONT SEAT--when the driver missed a curve, spun off the highway and collided with a tree. Both of them were still naked when cops arrived and found the couple's three-month-old baby in the back seat.

West Jordan, UT- Parents lost track of their kid while visiting a corn maze in October...and didn't realize it until the next day.

A guest found the three-year-old boy in the maze and brought him to staff members. The boy's mom returned to the maze a day later--with about 10 other children--to bring him back home.

Springfield, OR- A woman was cited for pulling three children in a wagon behind her car during rush hour traffic.

27-year-old Alana Donahue pulled her 2-year-old daughter, 4-year-old son and 8-year-old nephew in a small, plastic red wagon going around a busy roundabout multiple times. Donahue told officers that it was no big deal--she was just "showing the kids a good time" and only driving about five miles per hour.

Norway, WI- A couple was arrested after trying to bone the babysitter.

A woman claimed that her teenage daughters were babysitting for friends. The girls told their mother that Justin & Crystal Robinson arrived home intoxicated and under the influence of marijuana. The couple allegedly offered the girls drugs and asked one of them to participate in a threesome.

Happy New Year! Here's to more hilarious parenting fails in 2018! Get caught up on all of my "Crappy News" here!

Follow Slater on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the NEW Q92.3 mobile app!