If you're squeamish about going to the hospital this story WON'T make you feel any better. This is 'Crappy News' for Thursday, 12/14/17.

Let's begin with some ACTUAL crappy news...

Orchard Park, NY- Another "mad pooper" is on the loose.

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Back in September, a jogger in Colorado became infamous for repeatedly relieving herself on a neighbor's lawn. Now we have a copycat crapper.

One woman has called cops about a delinquent defecator stinking up her lawn, and another resident has placed an ad in the local newspaper warning the pooping perpetrator that trail cameras have been installed in the area and police have increased patrols.

If the culprit is caught, they could face charges of public lewdness, but he or she would have to get caught in the act. [New York Times]

Derby, CT- Being a good Samaritan turned out to be a bad idea.

25-year-old Gregory Rottjer was arguing with his girlfriend, 22-year-old Jennifer Hannum, on a bridge on Thanksgiving.

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It looked like it was really escalating, so a passerby tried to intervene to make sure everything was okay. Rottjer grabbed the man and THREW HIM off the bridge. The victim fell 45 feet into ice cold water. Authorities were able to rescue him from the river and transport him to the hospital.

Rottjer was arrested Tuesday and charged with first-degree assault, first-degree reckless endangerment, and attempted murder. Hannum was charged for interfering with police. [Hartford Courant]

This is why I always just keep walking. It's not because I don't care, it's because I don't feel like I should die because of your problem.

Birmingham, England- A doctor has confessed to marking his initials...on patients' organs.

53-year-old Simon Bramhall is a liver, spleen & pancreas surgeon...and he just pleaded guilty to assault charges after admitting to signing his initials on two patients' livers.

Paul Hart - Thinkstock

According to testimony, Dr. Bramhall used an argon beam coagulator to brand his patients during two organ transplants in 2013. This instrument is normally used to "sketch" out the areas to operate.

Another surgeon notified the hospital after he noticed the marks while performing a different operation on one of those patients. Prosecutors stated that Dr. Bramhall's actions took place in the presence of colleagues and "with a disregard for the feelings of unconscious patients." Bramhall resigned after a disciplinary hearing in 2014. He's scheduled for sentencing in January. [BBC]

That's horror movie-level stuff! This guy should never practice medicine again.

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