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Drug Dealer’s Beard Gets Him Busted

This may be the most bizarre way a drug dealer has ever been caught. Here’s ‘Crappy News’ for Friday, 9/29.

Salem, VA- The city’s mayor has apologized for getting arrested last weekend.

Arrested Drunk
Richard Nelson – Thinkstock

Early Saturday morning police spotted 48-year-old Randy Foley walking through a college campus. Foley had been drinking and watching football that day at a friend’s house and actually DID THE RESPONSIBLE THING by walking home instead of driving.

A Roanoke College security guard saw him staggering and arrested him for public intoxication. Mayor Foley excused himself from Monday’s City Council meeting. It’s unsure if he’ll face any more discipline. [Richmond Times-Dispatch]

Plain Township, OH- A woman tried to pick up her drunk boyfriend…and was arrested for DUI.

Brandi Coen (Photo: Stark County (OH) Sheriff's Office
Brandi Coen (Photo: Stark County (OH) Sheriff’s Office

23-year-old Kristopher Fox was pulled over for speeding when the officer noticed an empty 12-pack of beer in Fox’s passenger seat. He failed a field sobriety test, and he blew a .147 on a breathalyzer. Fox was charged with operating while intoxicated and asked that his girlfriend come get him from jail.

When 29-year-old Brandi Coen arrived…officers thought she smelled like booze and gave her a sobriety test. She told the cop that she was “too drunk” and to just take her to jail. Coen’s blood alcohol level was .162 (she was drunker than him!) and police  found two young children in her car, so she was also charged with child endangerment. [News 5 Cleveland]

You know the old saying…the couple that drives drunk together stays together…

Austin, TX- An international drug dealer has been busted because of his facial hair.

Close up of long beard and mustache of bearded man

38-year-old Gal Vallerius served as a moderator for The Dream Market, a site that facilitates the sale of drugs on the dark web using Bitcoin.

The FBI, DEA, IRS and Homeland Security had been investigating Vallerius–known online as “OxyMonster”–for months. He finally slipped up when he traveled from France to the U.S. for the World Beard & Mustache Championships.

Vallerius faces federal conspiracy charges and could serve LIFE in prison. [Miami Herald]

He got arrested before getting to show off his glorious beard. THAT is criminal.

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