What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done while drunk? I bet it doesn't compare to this. It's 'Crappy News' for Friday, March 2nd.

Charlotte, NC- A man was detained after trying to attack employees on an airport runway.

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Officials told police the man seemed disoriented, and when he was threatened to be kicked off the flight, he became agitated and left the plane by running down the access stairs onto the ramp area.

Video shows the man taking off his shirt, punching and chasing airport staff, and striking one employee with a plastic traffic wand.

Paramedics were holding the man on the ground when cops arrived. Police took him to the hospital for a mental health assessment. He has not been charged. [WSOC-TV]

This is still probably only the eighth-strangest thing to happen in an airport this week.

Brooklyn, NY- A woman tried to kill her doppelganger with poisoned cheesecake.

42-year-old Viktoria Nasyrova met 35-year-old Olga Tsvyk back in 2016. The two looked VERY similar, and Nasyrova concocted a plan to kill her and steal her identity.

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Nasyrova laced a cheesecake with phenazepam, a powerful Russian-made tranquilizer. Tsvyk became sick after eating the dessert and passed out. Olga was found the next day; Nasyrova had dressed her in lingerie and scattered phenazepam pills around her body in an attempt to make it look like a suicide.

Nasyrova was finally caught in March of last year and was just arraigned on attempted murder charges. She faces up to 25 years in prison. [PIX11.com]

She came to the U.S. from Russia in 2014 after *allegedly* killing a woman, so I guess we shouldn't be too surprised.

Sewell, NJ- This likely trumps ANY drunk story you've ever had.

A man named Kenny Bachman was visiting friends last weekend at West Virginia University. After a wild night of partying, Bachman requested an Uber to take him back to his friends' place.

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Unfortunately, he blacked out during the trip, and didn't realize he'd given the driver his HOME address instead.

When Bachman woke up, the driver told him they were still about an hour away. They'd traveled more than 300 miles through four states. The total cost? $697 for distance, $116 for time. Making matters worse, Bachman accidentally ordered an UberXL, which DOUBLED his fare, setting him back a grand total of $1,635.93.

He originally disputed the charges with Uber, arguing that he had requested a ride, but that the driver had taken his phone. And now Bachman has to head BACK to West Virginia this weekend to get his stuff. [NJ.com]

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