There HAD to be an easier way, right? This is "Crappy News" for Wednesday, May 2nd.

London, England- A lawyer was let go after some unusual office activities.

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40-year-old Robert Jones claims he was fired unfairly after bosses at his law firm found out about a relationship he had with a junior partner. Jones admitted to spanking the woman on a co-worker's desk, and exchanging racy emails describing "sex contracts."

However, Jones says he was never disciplined until months later, when he threatened to resign from the company over a pay dispute. Jones claims the firm also breached data laws by accessing his personal emails. [New York Post]

Modesto, CA- A convenience store owner came up with a clever way to prevent loitering.

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Sukhi Sandhu owns a 7-11 store and recently began blasting classical music and operas through the store's outdoor speakers. Sandhu has noticed a significant difference in the amount of panhandlers and loiterers and said his customers feel safer.

It's part of a larger initiative by 7-11 to use non-confrontational ways of dealing with potential troublemakers. Sandhu plans to play the music at the other stores he owns, as well. [Yahoo News]

Sounds like he's a got a pretty good Handel on the situation.

Pasadena, CA- A drunk guy REAAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY wanted some Doritos.

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Officers received a call of a possible burglary at a Taco Bell around 3:00 a.m. Saturday. Later that morning, 22-year-old Jose Cruz surrendered at the police station and admitted to being drunk when he broke in to the restaurant and ate at least 10 Doritos Locos taco shells.

Cruz matched the description of the suspect given to police and was arrested for commercial burglary. [Pasadena Star News]

This seems like a pretty complicated way to get some Doritos, since you can find them at, pretty much EVERY store in the entire country. But, hey...hunger--and alcohol--can make us do some silly stuff.

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