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Drunk Football Fan Accidentally Sets Himself On Fire

This is why I don’t bet on ANYTHING sport-related. Especially after a few beers. This is ‘Crappy News’ for Thursday, 10/12/17.

Dunwoody, GA- A dude blew his cover before he could even do what he was training to do.

Target Stocks Jump After Retailer Beats Third Quarter Expectations
Getty Images

25-year-old Christopher Atkins was arrested early Monday morning after burglarizing a Target store. Security footage showed Atkins forcing his way into the store, which tripped the alarm.

When questioned by police, Atkins claimed that he broke in to the store because he was “practicing entering and exiting buildings” as part of his ninja training. Apparently he was reading Naruto, which is a comic book series about a teenage ninja, and got inspired.

Atkins didn’t steal anything but was still charged with first-degree robbery. []

You aren’t supposed to TELL anyone that you’re a ninja. For someone studying ninjas he sure doesn’t know much about ninjas. Sheesh.

West Jordan, UT- Parents left their kid at a corn maze…and didn’t realize it until the next day.


The family went to the maze Monday evening when the parents lost track of their three-year-old son. Someone found the boy and brought him to staff members. Finally–Tuesday morning–the child’s mother called 911 and reported him missing.

Police say the mom showed up later that day with about 10 other children. Authorities are still investigating. [CBS News]

Call me crazy, but if you accidentally leave one of your kids behind…you PROBABLY have too many kids. Just a hunch.

Vero Beach, FL- A man is feeling the burn after his favorite team lost.

Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

The unidentified 27-year-old was watching the Packers/Cowboys football game Sunday afternoon. The man and his wife had agreed to burn the losing team’s jersey. Dallas ultimately lost, so the husband did the honorable thing and went outside to burn his Cowboys gear.

However, the guy was drunk…and he lit his jersey on fire WHILE HE WAS STILL WEARING IT.

The victim was taken to the hospital with second-and third-degree burns and skin was reportedly “hanging off his arm and back.” [Sebastian Daily]

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