Young love is a wonderful, beautiful thing. Unless it gets in the way of people playing golf. Here's 'Crappy News' for Thursday, August 31st.

Marion County, FL- A man failed trying to hide money from the cops in a very tight space...

Ingram Publishing

26-year-old Pattreon Starks was pulled over for speeding Saturday night, and police found a variety of drugs, including meth, marijuana and heroin. Stokes was taken to jail, and as police were about to strip-search him they noticed $20 bills falling OUT OF HIS BUTT.

After a "necessary but undesirable process for everyone involved," officers located $1,090 in cash hidden in Stokes’ rectum.

He faces numerous charges, such as drug possession, intent to distribute, and smuggling contraband into jail. [WPTV]

I guess you could say he was pretty--bummed--about the whole deal.


Singapore- A man drove his car into the ocean last week...and blamed it on a mermaid.

36-year-old Lim Pin Jing was seen crashing his vehicle through safety barriers and plunging into the water. Jing was trapped inside the sinking car until a boater was able to pull him out.

A witness claims Jing spoke repeatedly of dying and said that “a mermaid” told him to plunge into the sea. He's been charged with endangering public safety and is being held at a local mental health facility. [The Independent]

I wonder what Sebastian, Flounder and Scuttle would have to say about this?

Tega Cay, SC- A couple was busted after some serious fairway frolicking...


Police received a 911 call Sunday night from a man who saw two people laying down on a golf course. The man thought the couple was experiencing some kind of medical emergency. He went to take a closer look and saw the pair "having intercourse on hole #8."

Officers found 19-year-old Dakota Payne & 24-year-old Kiernan Hennessy engaging in some awesome X-rated action. Payne's shorts were off and Hennessy was only wearing a bra.

Two other witnesses later told police they saw the couple from the tee box, but initially thought them to be a DEER on the fairway. Payne & Hennessy were both charged with indecent exposure. [Rock Hill Herald]

That'd absolutely be the most exciting thing I've ever seen happen on a golf course.

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