This marriage is off to a fantastic start. Here's "Crappy News" for Wednesday, February 13th. 2019.

St. Peter, MN- A guard at a sex offender clinic just got arrested...for having sex with a patient.

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57-year-old Claudia Kogo was fired from her job at the Department of Human Services after a patient at a state hospital admitted to hooking up with her more than 20 times.

Kogo allegedly told the state that she kissed and groped the man, but she denied having sex with him. Police obtained a warrant and listened to recordings of phone calls between Kogo and the patient. Many of the calls included conversations about their sexual activities.

Kogo has been charged with felony counts of criminal sexual conduct. [Pioneer Press]

Saitama, Japan- This is a weird way to get your kicks.

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40-year-old Makoto Endo is suspected of stealing 70 pairs of shoes between June 2017 & August 2018. But his motivation had nothing to do with fashion.

Endo confessed to police that he  gained sexual arousal by sniffing the smell of well-worn shoes, and it didn't matter if it was men's or women's footwear.

Police found many boxes of previously-worn shoes inside Endo's home, and it isn't clear how he managed to steal the shoes. [Japan Times]

Northampton Township, PA- A man was arrested at his own wedding reception.

31-year-old Matthew Aimers wed his wife back in November...and he clearly celebrated WAY too much.

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Police say Aimers approached a teenage waitress and "asked her to go outside and make out." She turned him down, but Aimers then followed the girl into the women’s bathroom, pulled her into an empty stall and exposed himself. But wait...there's more. He then tried to pay the girl $100 to have sex with him.

Later in the night, Aimers got into a scuffle with event staff because they wouldn't let him take alcohol off-premises. He then verbally berated police and attempted to fight an officer.

Aimers' charges include indecent assault, indecent exposure, imprisonment of a minor, simple assault, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Call me crazy...but I don't expect this marriage to last.

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