The Tilt-A-Whirl is vomit-inducing enough. I don't need this added onto it. This is 'Crappy News' for Thursday, August 10th.

Durango, CO- A bear took an SUV for a joyride.

Thinkstock

The bear somehow got into the vehicle early Friday morning and accidentally released the parking brake. The SUV rolled backward from a neighbor’s house, crashing into a mailbox and running over some utility boxes. The bear also clawed the interior of the vehicle, broke the steering wheel, and ripped the radio out of the dash.

Cops determined that a bear was responsible because they found poop in the car...as if a human wouldn't be capable of that. There have already been more than 200 bear-related complaints in Durango this year. [Durango Herald]

San Diego, CA- Some boaters were busted with a big load of pot.

Smithore

The Coast Guard received a distress call on Sunday after a boat's battery died about 30 miles at sea. Once on board, the Coast Guard got suspicious, so they inspected the boat and found 1,200 POUNDS of marijuana stashed below the deck.

In total, more than 50 bundles of marijuana wrapped in plastic were discovered. The boat was seized and the smugglers were arrested. [San Diego Union-Tribune]

I'm guessing that's not quite the help they were hoping for...

West Allis, WI- A couple has been arrested for getting it on...during the State Fair!

Thinkstock

The carnal couple was captured on camera copulating in the coliseum near concessions. Because OBVIOUSLY your first instinct is to record them--not, you know, telling someone what happened.

At one point in the video, 28-year-old Robert Beasley, with his bare buttocks exposed, was seen waving at the camera.

A representative from Wisconsin State Fair said they became aware of the "appalling viral video ... a thorough investigation was conducted, and the video was removed." [FOX 6 - Milwaukee]

Funnel cakes and fornicating DON'T go together.