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Intoxicated Guy Gives The Greatest Reason Ever For Being Drunk

Seriously…I don’t know if anybody will ever top this. Here’s ‘Crappy News’ for Friday, October 6th, 2017.

Stuart, FL- A man busted himself with his own surveillance cameras.

Man monitoring cctv cameras in modern control room
Izabela Zaremba

26-year-old Juan Dejesus Cabral set up six high-end security cameras around his home to protect himself from being robbed.

However, those cameras didn’t protect him from recording his DRUG DEALS.

The Police Department posted about the crime on Facebook, saying “Cabral had excellent taste in video cameras, providing detectives with high-quality video evidence of his illegal activity, plus bonus footage.”

Cabral’s girlfriend was also arrested for drug possession. [Palm Beach Post]

Edmonton, Alberta, Canada- Two women escaped from jail…then got caught in an ESCAPE ROOM.

Prison cell block

23-year-old Kelsie Mast & 20-year-old Samantha Toope sneaked out of the prison Monday night. They were still on the run Tuesday night when someone saw them and called police.

Mast & Toope walked into the escape room and asked for a tour. The owner of the building said that nothing seemed suspicious, until police barged in and arrested the suspects. [Global News]

They didn’t get the chance to actually go through the escape room…but I’m guessing they would’ve done pretty well…

Casper, WY- Police have arrested a tipsy time traveler…

27-year-old Bryant Johnson was drunk and causing a disturbance at a hospital Monday night. Johnson refused to speak with nurses or doctors, so hospital staff called the police.


Johnson explained that he was from the year 2048 and he had traveled back in time to warn Casper residents of an alien encounter. Oh…and those same aliens were the ones that filled his body with alcohol.

SOMEHOW…the cops didn’t believe his story, so they performed a sobriety test and found Johnson’s b.a.c. to be almost double the legal limit. He was arrested for public intoxication. [The Smoking Gun]

Whatever that guy’s been drinking…I want some. If you can be THAT creative it must be some top-notch, high-class hooch.

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