A simple Google search would have done this guy A LOT of good. Here's your 'Crappy News' for Tuesday, July 18th...

West Des Moines, IA- A would-be bank robber was turned away twice on the SAME DAY.

Thinkstock

The suspect went to the Marine Credit Union around 8:15 Wednesday morning. He came prepared, dressed in a hoodie covering his head, sunglasses covering his eyes, and a red bandana covering his face. What he WASN'T prepared for was the bank to be closed...until 11 a.m. He yanked on the doors, realized they were locked, and took off.

About a half-hour later the man showed up at a different bank, which was also closed. Police are asking for the public's help identifying the suspect. [Des Moines Register]

At this point, I don't know if anybody would want to admit to knowing this guy...

Taiwan- A woman has been granted a divorce...because her husband wouldn't respond to text messages.

Thinkstock

The 'blue ticks' on her messaging app showed that her husband was receiving and reading her texts but not answering them. A judge ruled that the six months of unanswered messages, including one when she was admitted to the hospital, was proof their marriage was beyond repair...seems like a smart judge.

The woman's husband can file an appeal, but--shockingly--he hasn't showed up for any court hearings. [Daily Mail]

It's probably best just to move on.

Clearwater, FL- A man called 911 nearly 100 times...to get the money that cops seized during a drug bust.

Tomislav Forgo

Michael Mott was arrested in January for selling drugs to undercover cops. Last Monday, he dialed 911 NINETY-EIGHT times demanding to get the money they took from him. Mott alleged that the State's attorney is no longer pursuing the drug charges, which is why he was trying to get back the money.

According to police, emergency lines were tied up all day because they had to answer every single call that came through. So, now Mott is facing a charge for making harassing phone calls...might want to add "misuse of 911" to that, too. [Fox 13]

Follow Slater on FacebookTwitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the RadioPup app!