Let's hope this guy's punishment isn't too hard. Here is 'Crappy News' for Friday, December 1st.

Cincinnati, OH- A teenager accidentally set an apartment complex on fire...because of bed bugs.


Authorities say the 13-year-old tried to kill a bedbug Tuesday night by dousing it with alcohol and lighting a match.

The fire spread rapidly and six apartments were damaged as a result of the blaze. No injuries were reported, but three adults and five children were displaced from their homes. [10tv.com]

I'm honestly more surprised a 13-year-old knows how to use a match in 2017.

Jensen Beach, FL- A drunk woman tried to choke out a guy during bar trivia.

I'm not sure 44-year-old Jillian Stewart won the game...but she certainly won the party.

Martin County (FL) Sheriff's Office

A bartender said he served Stewart two glasses of Cabernet before she drank a shot of Fireball with the trivia host. Stewart soon became aggressive and tried to choke a man at the bar. The bartender took her keys, but Stewart tried to start her car anyway.

Police say she got out of the car and began running laps around the parking lot. She then continued to get into her car, attempting to start it without the keys.

Stewart was booked on a charge of disorderly intoxication. [Treasure Coast Palm]

I should make fun, but she managed to exercise her mind AND her body while she was drunk. I'm lucky if I can do either of those things when I'm completely sober.

Indiantown, FL- A guy was arrested after swinging a sex toy at police.


A homeowner called 911 to report a stranger sleeping on his front lawn. Police arrived and discovered 71-year-old Donald Hornback still asleep in the yard. When they woke him, Hornback picked up a large adult toy and tried to ward off the cops with it.

It's not clear why he'd brought a big sex toy with him to sleep on a stranger's yard, or why he thought it would scare the police. Hornback was arrested for trespassing regardless. [The Smoking Gun]

Still only the eighth-weirdest thing to happen in Florida this week.

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