Where's Jerry Springer when we need him? This is 'Crappy News' for Wednesday, September 27th...

Dalwallinu, Australia- A man told police he was speeding home...to drop a deuce.


The driver was pulled over Monday for going 23 miles over the speed limit. Police shared a photo of the speeding ticket on Twitter, which explains that the man was rushing home because his kids gave him diarrhea.

The cop didn't buy it, and the dad now has to pay a $950 fine and could lose his license.

Not exactly the news you want to hear when you're trying to hold it...

Rogers, AR- Police got a bit more than they expected during a traffic stop.


Tracy McCoy was pulled over for reckless driving last Monday night. She failed several field sobriety tests but told police she hadn’t been drinking, only that she took her prescription medications.

Once at the jail officers discovered three syringes and a folded $20 bill...inside McCoy's vagina. They also found a white pill rolled inside the $20 bill. McCoy faces charges of drug possession, drunk driving, and furnishing contraband. [KFSM-TV]

I don't know if I should be impressed or horrified.

Palm Beach Gardens, FL- A woman slept with her DAUGHTER'S HUSBAND...then got mad when he admitted it.

58-year-old Kathleen Davis acknowledged the affair with her son-in-law to police.


Davis got upset last week when he CONFESSED to the affair...and it ruined her relationship with her daughter. It also ruined the marriage, but Kathleen was more focused on herself. Obviously...because why else would you be boning your daughter's husband??

To retaliate, Davis egged the guy's house and tried to hit him with her Mercedes. Davis told police that she wanted to run him over and kill him. She's been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. [Palm Beach Post]

Wow, Thanksgiving dinner is going to be REALLY fun.

Follow Slater on FacebookTwitter and Instagram, and listen live @ Q923.net or with the RadioPup app!