Dam, that's weird. Here's "Crappy News" for Friday, September 7th, 2018.

San Antonio, TX- A man was injured after throwing an ax at a train.

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The incident happened early last Friday morning. The genius decided to tempt fate by throwing the ax at a moving Union Pacific train. The ax then bounced off the train and struck him in the head. The guy tried to cover his tracks (pun intended) that he was standing on the railroad tracks swinging the ax when he was hit by the train.

The victim (if you REALLY want to call him that) was transported to a hospital with non-life-threatening injuries and will undergo a physical and mental evaluation. That's probably for the best. [KSAT-TV]

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Sanford, FL- A man tried to kill his boss THREE DAYS after getting hired.

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23-year-old Djuan Lewis was hired at an aluminum manufacturing company last Thursday. He was fired Sunday morning--three days later--for throwing supplies and tools on the ground.

According to police, Lewis waited outside the factory for more than two hours before chasing the supervisor and his girlfriend with a gun.

The boss jumped into his car, and Djuan started shooting. He wound up putting five bullets into the car, but fortunately, none of them hit anybody. Lewis was taken in for attempted murder. [WFTV - Orlando]

I'm guessing you won't see this dude on CareerBuilder anytime soon.

Kennewick, WA- A guy was arrested for sexually assaulting...a beaver.

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The woman told police she saw someone run the animal over with a car and then tried to help it by wrapping it in a towel. The woman returned to the site about 30 minutes later and found a man on top of the beaver with his pants unzipped.

Cops arrested 35-year-old Richard Delp, who was also found with a small amount of methamphetamine--I know, I'm just as surprised as you are. Delp is facing charges of drug possession and animal cruelty. [YakTriNews.com]

I know beavers are into wood...but...usually not THAT kind.

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