This is a terrible excuse. Clever, creative, but terrible nonetheless. Here's your 'Crappy News' for Tuesday, August 29th.

Great Falls, MT- A woman called 911...to complain about the quality of her meth.

Oelwein Police Dept.

33-year-old Margery Dayrider called police because she'd had a bad reaction to a batch of meth she injected. She was experiencing a variety of symptoms, including vomiting, a tingling tongue, and a bad taste in her mouth.

Dayrider went on to tell police that she does meth "three times a day" and had never had this reaction before. Dayrider also said that she and her boyfriend had purchased the drug the night before and that she injected herself at 9 AM, 11 AM, and 3 PM. Dayrider handed the meth over to police, who promptly arrested her for felony drug possession. [The Smoking Gun]

It's almost as if people addicted to meth make poor life choices...

Memphis, TN- A woman has been arrested for arson after lighting clothes on fire inside a Walmart...

Thinkstock

Employees noticed smoke coming from the women's section of the store Thursday morning. They found 27-year-old Joy Cagle setting articles of clothing on fire with her lighter.

Cagle initially told police that she unintentionally started the fire--that she has ADHD and needs to flick lighters and use fidget spinners to keep her mind busy. She later changed her story and claimed that an unknown man had lit the clothes. In addition to the lighter, officers found illegal drugs in Cagle's possession. I know...I'm just as surprised as you are. [Memphis Commercial Appeal]

Ocala, FL- A criminal got caught with drugs in a--unique--hiding spot.

53-year-old William Conley was arrested last week. While being processed, police asked Conley to remove his artificial leg. He reluctantly agreed, and cops found a

Thinkstock

syringe hidden inside.

Conley said he used the syringe to inject chickens with vitamins, but it doesn't really make sense to sneak your chicken needles into jail...so police tested it and found that the liquid inside the syringe tested positive for heroin.

Conley was hit with an additional charge of drug possession as well as a charge for smuggling contraband into jail. [ClickOrlando.com]

And somewhere, his chickens are going without nourishment. WHY ISN'T ANYBODY THINKING ABOUT THE CHICKENS?

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