Wow. His driver could've used...a driver. This is "Crappy News" for Wednesday, September 19th, 2018.

MANASSAS, VA- Police responded to a grocery store on Saturday after an employee complained about a customer.

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27-year-old Michael Johnson was seen picking up produce, pulling down his pants, rubbing the produce on his butt cheeks, and putting the produce back on the shelves.

Johnson was arrested inside the supermarket and charged with indecent exposure and destruction of property. The store also had to throw out the "contaminated" produce. [The Smoking Gun]

Here's a sentence I'm pretty sure has never been uttered before:  "Hey, get your butt cheeks off my radishes!"

SALEM, NH- Cops are looking for a guy who used his toddler to steal prizes from an arcade machine.

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Unlike the claw games you may be more familiar with, where you use a joystick to control a claw to try to grab stuffed animals, THIS game has two red buttons to make scissors cut a string holding a prize.

Because it's more difficult the prizes are more expensive...so this guy had his young daughter crawl through the hole and pass him a bunch of toys, electronics, and gift cards.

The suspect left the scene with the girl and another young child.

Several people took videos as it was happening on Friday, and the police are reviewing them now while they try to track down this guy.  [Union Leader]

"Having an accomplice" isn't one of the perks of parenthood anyone told me about.

BANGALORE, INDIA- An Uber passenger had a very memorable ride...

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Surya Oruganti was picked up at the airport back on September 9th, but he noticed his Uber driver appeared to be drunk and was struggling to stay awake.

Oruganti took matters into his own hands and proceeded to drive himself home over 30km after moving the driver from behind the wheel. He documented the bizarre incident on Twitter, tweeting a photo of his driver asleep in the passenger seat.

Oruganti also claims the man who picked him up was not the driver displayed on the app. [Yahoo News]

WTH?! This guy give all of us NORMAL Uber drivers a bad name.

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