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Man Eats Doughnut, Makes $37K

But it was a little more complicated than it sounds. This is ‘Crappy News’ for Wednesday, 10/18/17.

Los Angeles, CA- A man is suing United Airlines because a drunk guy peed on him.

United Airlines Grounds All Flights Worldwide After Computer Glitch
Getty Images

In his lawsuit, Daniel Card states that was on a flight to Newark, New Jersey, when an extremely drunk passenger boarded the plane and sat next to him. Card claims that, as the flight prepped for takeoff, the man exposed himself and urinated on Card’s leg.

Card allegedly alerted the airline crew, who refused to put him in a new seat. Card was finally allowed to switch seats, but was “forced to endure the remainder of the flight…while remaining in his urine-drenched clothing.”

He’s suing for assault, negligence, and emotional distress. [Fox News]

Making matters worse…he actually had to fly to New Jersey.

Bismarck, ND- A guy was arrested for trying to light a cigarette at a gas station.


Police spotted 29-year-old Skyler Whitebull stumbling in a parking lot. Officers then saw Whitebull attempting to light his cigarette with the nozzle of a gas pump. Whitebull refused to put the nozzle back and became confrontational.

Whitebull continued to resist even after police forced him to the ground. An officer searched Whitebull and found several small, zippered bags with methamphetamine residue.

He’s been charged with misdemeanor meth possession and preventing arrest. [Bismarck Tribune]

Orlando, FL- Police mistook doughnut crumbs for meth.

Officers pulled over Daniel Rushing in December 2015 after speeding out of a convenience store.

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Acquired By JAB Holding Co For $1.35 Billion
Getty Images

Rushing was arrested when police saw a “rocky, white substance” on the floorboards and thought it was crystal meth. Rushing explained that it was simply the glaze from a Krispy Kreme doughnut, but a roadside drug test showed the substance tested positive for COCAINE.

Rushing was subsequently taken to jail and strip-searched. A few weeks later, lab results confirmed that Rushing was telling the truth.

This week, the City of Orlando agreed to pay him $37,500 in restitution for the wrongful arrest. [NY Daily News]

First of all, Krispy Kremes are about as addictive as meth. Second of all, shouldn’t a COP know more about doughnuts? Turn in your badge, bro…

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